First The Amazing Spider-Man 2, then Transformers: Age of Extinction, and now this? Man, I hate it when I have to keep re-evaluating poorly-reviewed movies that I thought I "enjoyed"! Pretty soon, the DCEU Suicide Squad movie might be next! I remember the time when I discovered the updates and the trailer of what I can expect from the sequel, well technically more of a "soft reboot," to the action-packed yet maligned G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, I thought that it would finally please some fans and put aside this whole debacle about how wrongfully handled the once popular G.I. Joe characters are by instead making them an international task force and being too reliant on sci-fi technology like Delta-6 Accelerator suits, sonic cannons, and the cheap but wicked holograms. I have yet to see the Best Buy-exclusive Extended Cut Blu-ray again at home (if I want to) now that I finished watching The Rise of Cobra in my basement, but from what I saw which I can really recall without having to wait, I knew almost every part that makes me wonder if Retaliation was the live-action G.I. Joe movie we deserve no matter how "better" it was than the predecessor that was released (coincidentally due to being made by Hasbro) in the same year as Michael Bay's awfully-upsetting Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
As the G.I. Joe: Retaliation (whether theatrical or extended) movie starts, it was starting to become obvious that it was gonna feel different from The Rise of Cobra given the more militaristic tone and less dumb-but-fun sci-fi campiness. While retaining Duke, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow (spoiler alert, he's alive no questions asked!), Cobra Commander and Zartan (in the guise as the U.S. President), gone were the popularly recognizable G.I. Joe characters such as Scarlett, General Hawk, Breaker, Baroness, and of course Destro (not counting his useless cameo). Erasing them from the clean slate, we got newbies like Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson!), Lady Jaye, Flint, "original G.I. Joe" Joe Colton (Bruce Willis, everyone!), and Jinx (Elektra from Season 2 of Marvel/Netflix's Daredevil). And if I remember correctly, despite some claims that Retaliation was "better than The Rise of Cobra," there was that one particular moment that will surely upset a lot of fans...
DUKE DIES!
That's right, folks. Because Channing Tatum claimed that he "hated" the first G.I. Joe movie that he did, he wanted his character to be killed off. The first time it happened, well almost, was in the 1987 animated movie but due to fan complaints at the Optimus Prime death in the 1986 Transformers cartoon film, they made Duke simply "went into a coma." But 26 years later, this time Duke is now seemingly dead for real! It was at that moment since then, that G.I. Joe: Retaliation has been plagued by a lot of hate for killing off a very popular G.I. Joe character like Duke even though nobody likes Channing Tatum's acting ability despite his screentime with Dwayne Johnson's Roadblock being considered as one of the major highlights and his success with 21 Jump Street! Now that I think about it, what's the point of having him around during the first 30 minutes of this so-called "sequel" and boom! he's dead without so much as giving him a proper pay-off?
So the plot of said sequel was about the remaining Joes (Roadblock, Lady Jaye, and Flint) being forced on the run and framed by "President Zartan" as public enemies of the United States, similar to that of The A-Team and The Hub's short-lived G.I. Joe: Renegades animated show, it was becoming less of a direct sequel but more of a standalone movie even with some direct ties with the 2009 predecessor, which I'm okay with yet unsure of. The only good parts were the action scenes with Snake Eyes and his archenemy-later-turned-ally Storm Shadow, such as SS breaking Cobra Commander out of prison in Germany (but leaving Destro behind because of course, no Christopher Eccleston - WASTED!) and the kick-ass mountain fight between Snake Eyes & Jinx and the Red Ninjas. With those sweet ninja fight scenes like that, and the way that they at least corrected the Cobra Commander look, I just don't quite understand why G.I. Joe: Retaliation was such a big deal for people, especially the fans, to complain about even though the new director was a die-hard G.I. Joe fan! However, since time went on and still we never got the third G.I. Joe movie like we were promised despite grossing over $375 million, I am now starting to wonder if they were right all along. While the over-the-top explosive action was fun to watch, it's still too bad that perhaps the only way it would feel like a G.I. Joe movie is if none of the characters were either killed off like Duke, disappeared with no explanation like the missing ROC characters, or lazily abandoned like Destro in favor of newcomers that will be hard to easily recognize. And I'd hate to say this, but while it is more of a sci-fi super spy movie and less of a military-themed war movie, as well mishandling the Cobra villains like Destro and the Baroness, at least seeing the Joes in action in The Rise of Cobra felt like the G.I. Joe team we were meant to see on the big screen and actually had that "Yo Joe!" and "Knowing is Half the Battle" feeling instead of ending up as a generic and formulaic Fast & Furious-styled wannabe! Plus, mediocre acting aside, at least Channing Tatum had a more expanded main character role and arc in which we see how Duke would do what a soldier would have done when in battle, and that's to never leave a man behind (especially his good friend Ripcord)!
Ever since the Hasbro Cinematic Universe was announced with the writers' room already prepared in the wake of the oh-so successful Transformers Writers' Room and upon learning that a G.I. Joe 3 will only be made when Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson isn't too busy with films like the upcoming 2017 titles Baywatch and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, I was starting to worry that instead of getting a continuation to tie up some loose ends left by the 2013 follow-up, there may have to be a complete (you guessed it) REBOOT from scratch (by taking a more "millennial approach") to better tie with other lesser known non-Transformers Hasbro properties without making the continuity so confusing when using events established in the first two G.I. Joe films! Like everyone's gonna care about a cinematic universe of G.I. Joe, M.A.S.K., ROM the Spaceknight, Visionaries, and Micronauts since they were unsurprisingly outdated and forgotten! Which means that we will no longer get to see Roadblock and the reinstated G.I. Joe team hunt down Cobra Commander and bring him to justice for what happened to Duke! How unfortunate.
With Paramount Pictures already suffering from financial disappointments and failures last year (TMNT: Out of the Shadows, Zoolander 2, Star Trek Beyond, Ben-Hur) and the box office misfire of the belated sequel Alice Through the Looking Glass, maybe it is far too late to be getting a direct sequel to the two G.I. Joe films, whose total worldwide box office combined is below the 2007 Transformers movie's $709 million gross. It's no wonder that after 2013, we hardly see any more G.I. Joe toys in several stores.
Even though I am more of a Transformers fan, as of now, I feel like binge-watching (not through Netflix or DirectTV sadly) the entire 1980's G.I. Joe cartoon, just to see how Hollywood, especially Stephen Sommers and Jon Chu (whose Jem and the Holograms movie is now a massive plagiaristic failure after an abrupt 1-week theatrical run!), should do the G.I. Joe vs. Cobra action done right! At least the cartoon made them act like REAL AMERICAN HEROES!
Cue the theme song! YO JOE!
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