Regretful Throwback Review of 'Transformers: Age of Extinction'

I thought it would be nice for me to write this regretful throwback review of 2014's Transformers: Age of Extinction since today is June 27th. "Best Summer Movie of 2014"? "Better than TF 2 & 3"? What the heck was I thinking? Was the wait for TF4 worth it after Michael Bay finished Pain & Gain? As I compare and contrast this fourquel with the first three films that I remember were the real deal, it grieves me to say how disappointed I was. For a minute, I thought that TF4 would help me put aside all of the overwhelmingly upsetting complaints and flaws (such as cheap fan service of 'bots and 'cons) that I've had to go through in Revenge of the Fallen (my most disliked TF sequel since 2009) and Dark of the Moon, both of which I believe were not on par with the first ever live-action Transformers movie that changed my life forever. Once I knew that Shia LaBeouf's character is not set to appear in the 4th film, I thought that it would be a relief. From my first viewing of TF: AOE at Tysons Corner, I was sort of glad that most of the robot characters like Optimus Prime felt like actual characters than cheap visual props. With the addition of the Dinobots and Galvatron being revealed to be the same Megatron from TF 1-3, I thought that things were about to get very interesting for the movie franchise. But it's as though the weak domestic gross of $245 million, the meager $60 million DVD/Blu-ray sales, and the Rotten Tomato critical rating of 18% that AOE got were right all along. As do the mediocre-detailed TF movie toy figures (and lack of correct-sized toys regarding Lockdown and Galvatron) nowadays. For every repeated viewing before looking back at the original 3, I realized that my initial appreciation of TF4 was a big mistake. Which leaves me a question: Is the latest movie that stars Mark Wahlberg the post-DOTM epilogue I have been waiting for after finishing the final season of Transformers: Prime? Problem was, Age of Extinction lacked everything that I enjoyed about the Transformers movies, terrible or no, before the movie industry became dominated by even better ones like Marvel/DC superhero movies, Hunger Games and such. The outcome of the Chicago Battle we got instead are humans fearing and hating the Transformers, especially the Autobots that have fought everything by sacrificing their own home planet to save mankind from the Decepticons, which prompted the government to finally cut off military ties with the Autobots and thus allowing the hostile human task force Cemetery Wind to hunt down Decepticons AND Autobots across the globe! What happens to the post-DOTM Autobots (anyone NOT Optimus Prime or Bumblebee) minus newcomers like Hound, Drift, and Crosshairs? They were said to have been massacred. Every. Last One. Which may include Ratchet (check), Leadfoot (check), Roadbuster, Topspin, Dino/Mirage (Mattel, not Hasbro, owns Ferrari - so, he must be dead), and even Sideswipe. Not the personal "thank you" I wanted for the Autobots that may not participate in AOE. It just makes me feel so upset and angry that the Transformers brand is losing everything that made it so popular as if cheaply killing off Starscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave in TF3 wasn't bad enough! Seeing Ratchet, the last of the original TF1 cast, getting gunned down by Savoy's team and Lockdown was like seeing part of my childhood being destroyed! They should have let Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson come back to play Lennox and Epps again to provide some indication that the TF1-3 feeling is not gone for good and that there are still humans remaining loyal with the Autobots. It's almost like Dark of the Moon, although containing stuff that upsets me the most like Sentinel Prime's allegiance with the Decepticons and his role being a main TF3 villain instead of Megatron or Shockwave, could have been the final film despite the ending that I felt needed some extension to properly tie up loose ends. Even with the new human cast, they're just even more unlikeable and even worse than they were before like the movie crew and writer Ehren Kruger were either on drugs or completely desperate to make the movie per the studio's request without being concerned about the fans' complaints! And once we were given an explanation that there were "Creators" that uses their "Seeds" to produce and harvest the metal "Transformium" from every organic material they destroy to build the Transformers, as well as the mention of "Knights" (albeit poorly-developed like it was an afterthought) given by Lockdown, that's where it becomes such a jumbled mess that we're unable to clean up. I was more used to the whole AllSpark/Sun Harvester/Moon history thing that I thought for sure that that was it in order to tie all 3 films together. But with the Creator-Seed-Knight issue, I'm not so sure if they do tie well with them. Plus, Optimus and Hound acted like they know so much about that even though Optimus doesn't know who these Creators are and how those Seeds work! I would have to assume that Lockdown might have told him off-screen while Tessa escapes from the drones! And does the AllSpark cube matter to that new plot detail in AOE that wasn't thought of to begin with, or does it not anymore when they say that TF4 is a "soft reboot" despite having an obvious connection with the Chicago Battle in the predecessor? Not only was Transformers 4 so entirely convoluted, but it was so full of very forced humor and unlikeable & unnecessary humans like Jack Reynor and Sophia Myles, and said to be too much of a product placement commercial as though it was for the sake of raising business in China hence why AOE was strongly successful internationally than in the U.S. As soon as we're introduced to Creators, Cemetery Wind, KSI (pointless as it is due to the uninspiring "transforming" sequences), Lockdown, and Galvatron's one-dimensional subplot of him leading his army to capture the Seed, there was just TOO MUCH GOING ON given the 2 hour 45 minute run time! I think I'm good with just the AllSpark origin. It's that simple! Why bother saying that the Creators were responsible for the birth of the Transformers 3 movies later? It was so much better when it was just Autobots vs. Decepticons. THAT is what the Transformers movies after 3 should have been about! Perhaps it was a bad decision to kill off our favorite Decepticons so soon which kinda explains the point with the KSI-made prototype robots. Are these guys out of ideas no matter how much amount of money they get from each film? This is why the first Transformers movie to me is the best one compared to the inferior sequels, like what Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is to the 3-4 sequels. If next summer's Transformers: The Last Knight does not breathe some life back into this 5-time Razzie Award-winning, critically-struggling 4-film franchise that grossed over $3.7 billion worldwide, then they are about to meet the same fate as the other shameful movie franchises (Resident Evil, Terminator, Ice Age, etc.) that have overstayed their welcome! Guess as Brains would put it, "You dumb greedy bastards just brought extinction to yourself." Paramount had better let Michael Bay be true to his word that The Last Knight would be the "last Transformers movie" he would ever direct to make fans very happy! Right now, the best place where I will truly appreciate the Transformers is not just in the 1st Michael Bay TF movie, but in the G1/Prime TV shows and the War for/Fall of Cybertron video games.
However, with the return of Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and Megatron (not as Galvatron?) in TF5: TLK, it seems that my faith in the TF movies would have to remain intact before I jumped to conclusions too quickly about reminding myself that "the TF sequels always ruin everything." To remain positive rather than worry myself no matter how many awful comments I find in each movie update, I would watch the final TF4 scene of Optimus leaving Earth to find the Creators a couple times to make me feel anticipated for the 5th installment of the "Transformers Cinematic Universe". Even if, at the same time, I feel nervous about the franchise fatigue getting much worse since Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Terminator Genisys. Let's hope that the oh-so brilliant Writers' Room are successfully getting the Transformers movie franchise back on track with these "wonderful ideas" that they'll come up with for spin-offs (Bumblebee) and prequels (Cybertron).

I'm coming for you.